Reflecting

Three posts in three days - wow, that should be a record, I'm sure. I have been thinking a lot today about Dad. I got a great email from my aunt, and for the first time in A LONG time, I cried. I haven't cried about Dad for so long, because I think I have just come to accept that this is how he will be from now on. But, today I cried - I cried because I miss him, I cried because I feel so helpless, and I cried because I hurt for him!! He is such an amazing person, why did this happen to him? But, I know there is a time for everything and this is just part of our trial here on earth!

Dad has taught me so much about love and kindness (he tried teaching me patience, but it didn't work...). I am so thankful for all he has given me. I miss him so much, but I am thankful for the time we still have with him.

Weird Night

We haven't been able to get a hold of Dad all day - his phone is always busy, which happens a lot. So, me and my mom went over tonight to see what was going on. Dad had thrown the phone in the garbage can - when we asked him why he said because of the cowboy thing going on.?
He is saying a lot of things like he did when he was in the hospital - so again, it just seems like he is continuing going downhill.

Update

Well, I know that all my updates are pretty depressing - and I am sorry for that. But not much progress is happening with Dad. In fact, it seems things are getting worse. I talked to him on the phone yesterday and he said he felt like he needed to go over to the other side. So, we went in to see him to make sure he was ok. He wouldn't get out of bed, and was pretty confused about where he was. I had to force him to go to dinner, which I don't think he was happy about. Once there, he was confused about how to sit in the chair...? It is heartbreaking to see him this way!

I know a lot of you have asked about my mom - she is doing okay. Still working full time and is with Dad after work everyday. So, it's definitely taking a toll on her, but she is hanging in there. As for my family, we aren't able to get to Dad's everyday anymore. We now go every other day. Dad has such a hard time with my kids, and they don't understand why he acts the way he does. So, I try to go when he is in a better mood. I hate for them to remember Dad this way instead of his happy old self...

Overdue Update

I'm not sure why everytime I'm with Dad, I forget to take pictures! I used to be really good about it but definitely have slacked in that department.

Anyways, it was Jack's birthday on Friday and my mom brought Dad over to the house to celebrate with us - it seemed to be too much for him. He had a horrible time getting up my stairs, and he was very quiet the whole night. I'm not sure he remembered all of Dusty's family, but it was sure nice to have him there!

Mom took him for a long ride up Provo Canyon on Mother's Day. I hope he enjoyed getting out, but Mom said his nerves were pretty bad.

Anyways, not too much new going on. Just love Dad, and love you all for your continued support.