Wednesday Update

Yesterday Dad had a pretty good day. He was able to get up and walk a little with the physical therapist, Jill. I also talked with the speech therapist Trina, and she is going to "up" his diet (whatever that means...). When we got there last night, he was pretty tired but was able to talk with us. He is very concerned about the hallucinations he is having - and, after hearing what he is seeing I would be too!! He also got his haircut yesterday - yeah!!
Anyways, I know some of you were wondering about how Dad is doing physically. So, here's a quick update:
The first Sunday he was at the nursing home, he pulled out his feeding tube. We decided not to put it back in (because he had pulled it out about 10 times total - and it is very painful to get put back in). So, we talked to Trina, the speech therapist, and decided to continue trying to feed him as best as possible. Well, the first few weeks were bad - he wouldn't eat hardly anything. They would only give him "liquified" food (pureed), so you can imagine how bad it probably tasted. Well, we talked with Trina about our concerns and told her that if Dad wanted something to eat, let him have it! We want him to be happy with what he was eating. Well, he has been doing a lot better since. He still has lost a lot of weight, but he is eating better now.
Well, the same goes for his walking. When we brought him there from the hospital, he couldn't stand on his own and wouldn't really get out of bed. But, now he is doing better. He can walk a little (with help) and he is able to push himself around in his wheelchair. Last week, he did get another UTI which slowed him down a bit, but now that it's cleared up he seems to be doing better. He is still very confused, but seems to remember things better. But, he still isn't himself. He is so sad all the time. I know he loves his grandchildren, but sometimes they seem to upset him a bit when they are too loud. Dad ALWAYS loved having them around - no matter what. So, we know that he is not there emotionally...
Lately, he has been getting better at remembering people. Sometimes he struggles with names, but usually can figure out who they are. He's really good about remembering his family - so, that's good! On a bad day, he struggles a bit more at remembering things.
His days usually consist of meals, physical therapy, and games. They play a lot of games like bingo, etc. He doesn't act like he enjoys it, but he goes anyways! We also brought him a TV so he can watch some sports, so I think that helps as well. He also likes having a notepad so he can write things down. I think that helps take his mind off things.
Anyways, I hope that update helps. I will try to get better at updating all aspects of his progress. We are hoping to move him this week (Friday or Saturday) down by us - hooray!!
Also, on a personal note, the past 6 weeks I have been very concerned about my parents' house and yard - I keep asking one of the band boys that is in their ward if everything is okay and he keeps telling me yes. Well, I know that their lawn has been kept up by the Rich family, and I just want to thank them! It has certainly taken a lot of pressure off my mom (and me) to have that done - so THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
Anyways, have a great day. More tomorrow...

(I don't think Dad likes me taking so many pictures, but he sure is a good sport about it!)

Weekend Update

Dad had a pretty good weekend. We spent quite a bit of time with him yesterday, and he was in a pretty good mood. We took him outside for a while, which I hope he enjoyed. I think the sun was bothering him, but I'm sure it was good for him to get some fresh air! I've also been working on his life history, and he was able to remember quite a lot yesterday.
We are hoping to get dad moved down here this week. It will be great to have him close by! It will sure make it easier to see him everyday.
Anyways, more tomorrow.

Thursday Update

Today Dad was in a pretty good mood. He was sleeping when we got there but we woke him up eventually and took him for a walk outside. He seemed pretty tired still, but I loved spending some alone time with him (and my kiddos of course).
I think Dad is getting pretty anxious about being there - he doesn't like it at all. But, they are really good with him and I think they take good care of him. He had some pretty rough days, so it was good to see him in a better mood today.
We are all missing Dad so much! He was such a big part of all our lives, it's hard not having him around anymore. But, I am thankful for the time we do have with him.
I've been trying to get some of my dad's history written down. We talked about it some today, but I think he was too tired to think. He did tell me that he had to walk 5 miles in the snow to school - I thought that was pretty funny!
Here are some pictures today - sorry that they are always of my kids! I need to get better at taking pictures when other people are there...

Tuesday Update

I was able to meet my good friend Steph and her husband Tim today to see dad. They were so great with him. I hope they don't mind me sharing this story, but dad was really close with Steph's dad Ed. We grew up across the street from the Henderson's, and we were all best friends. I was best friends with Steph, Heidi with Michelle, and mom and dad with Lawanna and Eddy. We couldn't love a family more then the Henderson's. Eddy passed away about 14 years ago (I believe it was January 1st 1995). It was devastating to our family - especially dad! We all loved Ed so much. I still remember the last thing he said to me. "Remember church at 0900!" (He was making sure I was going to church the next day.) My dad talked at his funeral and I still remember what he said. He talked about how Ed was up in Heaven doing missionary work - and, I believe that's what he is doing!
Anyways, sorry for the story. Dad has talked about Ed the past few days. I'm not sure if he remembers that Ed is gone or not, but I just know how much he loves him.
Dad was okay today. He was a little upset when we got there, but Tim seemed to calm him down. I got really sick while we were there, so Steph and I went out in the courtyard to get some fresh air and Tim just sat with dad and talked with him. Mom met us over there for awhile too. He seemed to do ok today, so that's good.
Anyways, sorry for the random post. I guess all these emotions lately seem to bring up a lot of our past.
Hope you all are doing good. Thanks for checking up on dad!

Weekend Update

I have quite the busy day, so I thought I'd quickly update from the weekend. We had our family pictures Saturday night with dad - I think they went really well! Dad was a little down, but he smiled good for the pictures!
Sunday was not a good day for dad. He was so down and depressed. Lawanna and Michelle visited with him earlier, and than Val and Carson came while we were there. He was so happy to see them, but after they left was pretty down again. And, I guess he didn't sleep at all last night. It's so frustrating to see him have a good day and then the next day be so sad - we feel so bad for him and very helpless right now!!

Friday Update

What a change from Wednesday! He was so depressed and tired on Wednesday. My Aunt Leslie saw dad on Thursday and said she had a great visit with him. Our good friend Stephanie went and saw him yesterday morning and said he knew who she was and was in a good mood.
Well, I was supposed to meet with the physical therapist yesterday afternoon. When we got there and started walking towards the door, here comes dad and the therapist walking out to meet us. WOW!! He looked great. She had to hold on to him, but he was walking. We haven't seen him walk for 5 weeks! And, he was in a better mood and remembering certain things too. It was so great. We stayed for a few hours and by the time we got ready to leave, he was so tired. We got him into bed so he could nap. The walking sure took a lot out of him! But, it was such a great day.
We are meeting up there today to get family pictures. We haven't had family pictures - EVER! (Well, with all of us I mean.) So, I thought it was a good idea. I will post pictures when we get them.
Anyways, here's to hoping for another good day!!!

Wednesday Update

Tonight wasn't a good night for Dad. He was so agitated and tired - we felt so bad for him. I guess he didn't sleep well last night and you could tell. The nurse gave him some medicine to help calm him down so I hope it helps. We tried taking him for a walk to get his mind off things, but it seemed to make things worse.

Some friends came to see him tonight from our old ward - Henry Bowen and Don Hansen. I know dad was happy to see them, but he struggled tonight.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Tuesday Update

Well, not too much has changed with dad today. We went down and met with the social worker and head nurse today to see how dad was progressing. They said that he seems more alert (not aware, but alert). But, they are going to stop the speach therapy because he is not progressing in that way. So, they recommended we let him eat what he wants now because he's not really progressing anyways.
Dad had some great friends from West Jordan - President Butterfield and Henry and Rene Bowen - come visit today. They were so great with dad. He just cried with them.
One good thing - they finally moved dad to a different unit. So now people won't be walking in and out of his room. That seemed to really bother dad. And, we can also bring him a TV now which might help him calm down a bit. My mom and I will hopefully get that stuff to him tomorrow.
Anyways, thank you all again for your support. Last week was a bit stressful and we are so thankful for all of you. I love my family so much!! My Aunt Susan has been so great to me these past few weeks - I am sure she understands what we are going through. I am so thankful for my mom's sister and sister-in-law. They have been her rock during all of this. They have both been through so much this past year, but they continue to support my mom. I was so thankful for my Aunt Ann the other day - just her being thoughtful and thinking of my mom - it meant a lot to her I know.
I will update you all tomorrow.

Oh, and kindof random - If any of you have any thoughts or memories about dad, I would love to get them. I am trying to start putting together dad's history and I think it would be fun to add memories from the people who love him. You can leave me a comment or email me at dtjbmiller@yahoo.com. THANK YOU!!

I am sorry I haven't been able to update the blog this weekend. I have had guard camp and have been SO busy, to say the least!! But, mom has been able to go up and see dad and we are going up today. So, I hope I have more to update tonight. I do call the nursing home every day (I'm sure they love it...) and it seems dad is doing okay. Still not eating a lot though.
Mom was able to go with her sister Joyce on Friday to see dad and then with my Aunt Ann yesterday. I know she appreciates them going with her - it sure makes it easier on her. Dad is having such a hard time and often takes his frustration out on her. So, it's good that she has so much support around her.
Well, I will make sure to update more later today.

Wednesday Update

Sorry I missed updating yesterday. I sat down at the computer, but just had too much to do. These past 5 weeks have surely been difficult for all of us!!
But, this week we have been able to meet with quite a few people that will help care for dad in the next little while. We are hoping to move him to Utah County in the next 30 days, so that will be great! He has been doing okay the past few days (other than the fact he has fallen twice in two days...). Yesterday, President Winder went to see dad (his old counselor in the stake presidency). I asked dad about it today and he just cried! He has such tender memories of that time in West Jordan.
This is all still taking quite a toll on mom - but, I am hoping that all the prayers are helping her through this.
On a personal note, I have felt such peace the past few days. I know that dad is in the Lord's hands - and that is comforting to me. I know that he will watch over him and bring him home at His time! I love the gospel and am so grateful for the plan of salvation. I am so thankful for Dad's example! What an amazing blessing Dad is in our lives!!
Anyways, enough rambling... I might not be able to update much this weekend. Our good friend gets in town tomorrow and I have a busy weekend with work. But, I will try my best to keep you all updated on Dad.
We want to thank you all for your sweet comments. They mean so much to us as a family! We love you all and are grateful to have you all in our lives. I am also thankful for all my friends and family who have stepped in to help me and the kids these past few weeks. Thank you, Thank you!!

Precious Moments

Yesterday we were able to spend some wonderful hours with dad. We have been struggling with knowing what direction to go from here - but, we put all that aside and just enjoyed each other. My sister was able to come down with all her kids. So, all the grandkids were there to see dad. They all hugged him and told him they loved him - it was so emotional. Dad has touched all our lives and I just hope he knows that!!
Dusty and Mark gave him a blessing of peace and comfort. We all were able to give him hugs. It sure felt like goodbye - even though it wasn't. He was crying and I know he knew us and loved us.
Even though dad got confused at times, he seemed aware of us and I know he was glad we were there.
Our good friends Lawanna and Michelle came to see him and had him laughing - just like old times. Dad was so close with Lawanna's husband Ed - we were all family growing up. I know it was hard for them to see dad that way, but I was so glad they were there. Grandpa Great also came to see him and dad's sister Coree (and her daughter Jennifer).
Today, Mom and I met with the head nurse at the facility. I think we are feeling better about things (well, as good as we can I guess). Dad was doing okay today. Still struggling though. And, very tired today. We got a call about 5:30 from the center and I guess dad had fallen. He tried getting up from his wheelchair and couldn't keep his balance. We were getting ready to go down, but I decided to call my Aunt Susan and see if she could go check on him. (My kids had had about enough of the car today.) She said of course so her and Wayne went to check on dad. He was okay, thank goodness. I'm always thankful that Susan is a phone call away!!
My mom also got a call from an old friend Joanne today, and she had gone to see dad too. He was able to eat a little while her and Bill were there. I know how much dad loved the Henderson's and Newman's - so I am so glad he was able to spend some time with them.
I am so thankful for this time we have with dad - even if it will be a short time. He is such a wonderful person and has done so much for so many! I am so thankful for his example of love and patience.

Here are a few pictures from last night:

Dad & Mom

Rupp Family
(Heidi, Tiff, Dad & Mom)

Father & Son
(Grandpa Great with Dad)

Dad and his sister Coree

Myken & Grandpa

Grandpa & Duncen

Lunden & Grandpa

Grandpa & Jack

Grandpa & Bree

Grandpa & Myles

Dusty, Dad, Tiff

Mark, Dad, Heidi, Talen

All the grandkids

(Bree, Jack, Myles, Lunden, Myken, Talen, Duncen)

Brief Update

Well, yesterday was a pretty devastating day! My mom and I went to the hospital around 10:30 so we could be there with dad when they moved him. He was in a pretty good mood. We even had him laughing a little. His sisters (Susan, Terry and Coree) came to visit and he laughed and cried with them. I know he loves them so much! About noon, the care center came to get dad. He seemed okay - I'm sure the sisters being there helped. I rode with him in the van and he was very quiet. We had told him several times what was going on, but I don't think he understood. I tried talking to him on the way, but he wasn't really in the mood to talk.
Well, when we got there and started walking down the hall of the center, I just cried. I couldn't believe it had come to this - and, I didn't feel like he was supposed to be there. It was horrible! My mom got there shortly after and we were able to talk to the nurse and someone else (I don't know what he was exactly). It sounds like they will evaluate dad for 72 hours and then we'll decide on his care plan.
Anyways, we stayed there with him for a few hours and then I needed to get Myles home - so, we left. I called later to check on him and they said he was doing good.
My mom was able to visit with her sister Joyce for a few hours - which I know she needed.
It was so devastating leaving him there! But, I'm not sure we have any other option...

Friday/Saturday Update

Well, I will apologize right now - this will not be the most uplifting post! Things definitely hit a low yesterday. While visiting my dad yesterday, the social worker came in and told me and my mom that we had to move my dad by tomorrow because her insurance won't pay for the hospital anymore. So, she helped us look into nursing homes. At first, she called the one in AF and they told her they had a room - so me and my mom were relieved to know he'd be that close. Well, they called back and said nevermind! They won't take my dad in his condition - I guess he will take too much of their time! So, the social worker then called my mom later and said that no nursing homes in Utah County will take my dad. So we have to put him in a home in Salt Lake. I am SO mad right now! I don't understand why one bad thing after another keeps happening to our family. Well, to top it off, my mom's insurance called her a few hours ago to tell her that they will only pay for 5 days in the nursing home - WHAT??? My dad doesn't qualify for rehabilitation, so they won't pay for anything other than that. But wait, it gets better. They then called back and said they've denied your claim and won't pay for even ONE DAY! My mom is just beside herself! And, I don't know what to do to help her right now. I guess I'm struggling to understand why God has decided to throw this at us. I know it's not his fault - and, please forgive me for talking this way - but, hasn't my dad been through enough in his lifetime? And my mom?
It was definitely a rough day yesterday! Just when it seemed like there was possibly a light at the end of the tunnel, BAM - it was gone!
So, we are moving dad this afternoon. Everything feels pretty hopeless right now...

Thursday Update

Dad had the two tests run today - but, we haven't heard the results yet. My mom was there this afternoon with my Aunt Susan and Aunt Terry. I know she was so glad to have them there while she talked with the doctors and social workers.
I went up tonight. Dad seemed pretty tired and just mumbled a bit. I ran into my mom's cousin Clarion at the hospital. He was in the ICU visiting a friend, so he came in and said hi to my dad. He was pretty non-coherent though.
They also are moving dad tonight out of ICU, so that will be good. I think we'll know more next week as far as long term care.
Reality is definitely sinking in tonight. Poor Jack - he is so close with his grandpa. He told me that Grandpa promised him he would see him off for his mission. He also just cried while asking my mom "who will play football with me now?" Bree keeps praying that Grandpa will come home. It just breaks my heart!!!

Day of Frustration

Not much to update yet today, but I'm am just feeling SO frustrated today - as I know my mom is as well. I just can't believe that my dad is gone for good! I seem to have hit a brick wall today. I don't feel like I've been helping my mom or kids as well as I should be. It's just all too much right now.
I wish I knew what to do to help my mom right now - and my dad. I just need to get over this anxiety I guess.

Wednesday Update

My Aunt Leslie and Uncle Roger came down from Logan to see dad, as well as Grandpa Rupp and Susan (who visit dad all the time). He was a little agitated today, but I know he loves them and was happy to see them.
We did get some news today - but, not the news we wanted to hear. The doctors believe (about 90% sure) that dad has Lewy Body Dementia - which, is non-treatable! So, it appears as if we've lost dad for good. Me and my mom have looked this up tonight, and all the signs sure seem to fit my dad. They will run two more tests tomorrow to make sure, and then we will possibly have to move him Monday to a nursing home. The doctor told my mom tonight that dad can't go home.
It's just all too much tonight! I guess this is a lesson to us all - that precious time with our loved ones can be taken away so quickly.
The thing that is the hardest for us to comprehend is that dad might live like this for the next 20 years. He has lost the ability to eat which means he has a feeding tube. They have to tie down his hands because he pulls it out. So, does this mean he has to be tied down forever?? We don't know, but I don't know how we can watch this for that long.
I guess we will wait and see what the doctor's have to say tomorrow, but it doesn't look good. We will keep you posted tomorrow. Thanks again for all your prayers. It means everything to us at this time!!

We love you dad!!

Tuesday Update

As you can tell, I'm a day behind lately - that's the story of my life right now! I wasn't able to go to the hospital yesterday. It's the first time I haven't seen my dad in 3 weeks. My mom had to go back to work yesterday, so that meant we couldn't trade off with the kids. Children under 12 aren't allowed in the ICU, so we've been switching off with the kids in the waiting room! But, I am meeting her there today after work so I will be happy to see Dad!
My mom said dad was a little irritated yesterday and on edge, so not a good day I guess. No change still, which is beyond frustrating.
I promise to try and update tonight after I see him.

Monday Update

A little late - sorry. I guess there's not much to update. We didn't get to talk to the doctor's while we were at the hospital yesterday, but my mom called them later and really got no answers. I think she has been repeating herself over and over again. This doctor yesterday asked her all the same questions the other one's have. You would think they would talk to each other...
Last night I was able to go to dinner with my best friend - on our way back to her house I noticed my father-in-laws car at my parents house. Well, my mom and Dusty had gone over to get some stuff done around the house and Dusty had called his Dad for some help. Well, his brother Luke and his dad were there helping Dusty fix the sprinklers, my moms closet, and other stuff. THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! I am still amazed at all the support we are getting from our family and friends.
I will update later today.